Perturbation in the soul.
Our lungs expand and collapse all day. Pulse pressure, mean arterial pressure, intracranial pressure, diaphragmatic pressure, partial pressures, and muscle contractile pressures constantly collapse and expand venous flow, rib cages, fissures, sutures, and foramen all day, in the space called you. Because of this, standing still, our bodies will waver back and forth all day. It’s impossible to remain completely still. In physiological biomechanics, we call this mechanical perturbation.
I sat at a lake last Friday morning and thought about the ripples effortlessly gliding up and down this lake. And I saw ducks move in and out of it. I noticed tree leaves and branches moving back and forth, upstream and downstream. I saw a man chuck a small pebble into this lake. And as I observed the lake, I wondered how the ripples in this lake augmented the beauty of the lake. And for the life of me, I just couldn’t come to understand why it’s hard for humans - for me - to do the same. To hold on to that beauty and purpose.
Why is it so hard for us - for me - to be like the lake?
As I contemplated, I thought about all the small things that have continuously forced me to move, if just a little, to adjust to life’s ripples, and how my sense of perturbation continues to increase with time.
But I’m not (at least I don’t feel) as gorgeous as this lake.
I contemplate life. “These minor perturbations turned me into someone I don’t even recognize”, I said aloud.
Lakes change in size, shape, and capacity, but they always maintain their serene appearance and performance, because they never lose their purpose. In essence, they always do the thing which they purposed to do. They remain lakes. Regardless of natural perturbation, they remain beautiful.
I remember being a kid in foster care, and the foster mom at the time made us memorize the 23rd chapter of the Book of Psalms. A specific verse from that chapter came to mind that morning on the lake:
“...He leadeath me beside the still waters; He restores my soul. ”
The last time I felt like my soul was restored from perturbation was the first time I read that verse with her, while in foster care. And that’s why I think this lake is speaking to me. Its inherent, restorative ability makes me jealous.
Just another perturbation in my soul.